(6) Desperate Men and How to Deal

Well, I am sorry to say that I went out with someone more for the fun of it and to test the waters. I have been abstinent for almost 4 months and I really wanted to know where I am holding in that area.

Well, it happened a few nights ago when I was chilling with one of the dancers on Sam's dance crew and we happened to get into conversation and we really connected. Sam and Co. (his brothers) warned me about him but I thought perhaps they may just not really know him.

Well for one thing, once he had my number my phone was blowing up with text messages and phone calls and being that I'm leaving on Monday, I figured Ray just wanted to get a chance to hang before I left.

Shows how much I know about not-so-hidden signals....I need to get my radar checked because last night was a worse disaster than Mr. Pretentious from last week.

I am feeling really amazing and open and Sam has been taking me to yoga every day so I'm in a good place and I agree to a date for last night.

Well Ray picks me up in a cab and we head off to Chapel street (he is Israeli and is studying/working here and arrived five months ago) which is the only place we really know where to go.

Well, I was completely unprepared for what he told me after the cab dropped us off and we were strolling down the avenue.

"You know I need to tell you something," he says with his Israeli accent. He is taller than me and very thin with a real charming personality.

" I feel like since I let you know that I like you, you feel like you have the power and you're in control."

Needless to say, I did not agree at all with that (I know I can be a little controlling at times but this was not the case in this situation).

"Ray, I have had many bad experiences with men and I have not been with anyone in a long time," I explained as patiently as possible. "I need to be cautious with who I am with because I have a habit of making bad decisions when it comes to men."

"Well, I am not just any man," he shoots back.

Well, I won't bore you with any more useless dialogue but after almost a half an hour of trying to get him to explain that I didn't miss him that day because I don't KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH, I just said,

"Look, I just met you, let's enjoy the evening and we'll see how it goes." Sounds rational, yes?

Well, we share a bottle of wine and talk about this and that and then we leave once the bottle is finished.

Well by that time, I knew I wanted to go home, get back into sweatpants and josh around with the brothers. Too bad that is when he decided to kiss me (I won't lie - I did indulge a bit) and after a little of that, I begged off that I was too tired to go to another place and I needed to go to sleep.

For those of you who know me well, midnight on a Friday night is not a time when I want to be heading to bed. I am usually good and ready to shout, shout and let it all out (well, not all of it).
It even sounded so false to my ears that "I have yoga and running tomorrow and I am so so so tired because I usually go to bed at ten". It sounded convincing to him though and after almost 30 minutes of asking to go home and then (like and idiot) promising to go out with him again - even though I am doing so with gritted teeth, we get a cab and I get dropped off.

The brothers are surprised to see me so early and they invited me to share some roasted potatoes and they want to hear about my night. All three of them share their comments and then my phone starts vibrating and I have two text messages and three missed calls from him.

Guys, I just left the dude under an hour ago - this is not normal. But I feel bad because he just took me out so I call him back and say good night.

Today was shopping day! Dovi and I bought backpacks, sleeping bags, flashlights - even thermals and a spiffy Swiss Army knife. I couldn't even handle the seven missed phone calls and eight unanswered texts (I am not exaggerating the numbers) and even as I am writing this I just received another one.

I do know that begging off that I am sick will not work and I believe that honesty is always the best policy. Ray, you are coming on way too strong, you are scaring me, I need space, I do not want to hang out tonight. I just need to gather the balls to say this though.

Other than the crappy dating experiences (I am done with it, I am not ready for a guy, I want to backpack, travel and not be held down) life is great! The past few nights have been so chilled. I am teaching basic yoga to the brothers who are very enthusiastic and we spend a lot of time in discussion (I will admit there is almost always a lit joint around). I feel like they are the older brothers I've never had. They treat me like a sister and I feel safe around them - probably due to the family dynamic.

All in all ladies and gents, I now have had my first stalker experience and a very big wake up call that I am not in any way interested in pursuing anything other than friendly connections.

Hear Hear!